Travel, Trays and Bums

Aren’t I adorable? This is me on my way to Minneapolis

A few thing I have learned during this trip to Oregon: Minneapolis is really big, and Delta has really bad tray tables.

Anyway, I began this day at Wabash. I woke up somewhat early and, seeing as I had to wait a little bit for my ride, busied myself by watching YouTube and Bum Reviews (CHAAANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?!). Maybe Wabash has a shuttle to the airport that I am just not aware of, and if it doesn’t then it should get one. I say this because I am an impatient man when it comes to travel; I like to arrive at the gate early (and by early I mean one or two hours early), so I know that I will not be late and will get on the plane in time. I’m not saying that I missed a flight, I just like a little bit of security.

Anyway, the first flight I was on was a small flight to Minneapolis. It wasn’t actually that bad, although they didn’t have enough room for one of my bags so they had to store it for the flight. Meh, it only had clothes, a few toiletries, and a base for one of my Warhammer models in it, so I was okay with that. The flight was nice, although I didn’t get a chance to nap, and within an hour and a half we were on the ground at Minneapolis.

Which brings me to my first point: Minneapolis is huge.

Our plane stopped off at Gate C-something or other. My next flight was over at Gate F9, on the other side of the airport more or less. As I was not handicapped or old, and thus unqualified to ride on one of their little carts (you know an airport is big when you need cars to get from one side to another) so I had to do this the old-fashioned way: Walk.

Did I mention that Minneapolis is big? It must have taken me twenty minutes to get to F9 (and probably would have taken longer if they did not have any moving walkways), but I made it to the gate on time. And that brought up another problem: boredom. I entertained myself by writing (got a pretty good Avatar: The Last Airbender fic going on) and watching more Bum Reviews. I didn’t stay active for very long because airport connections are sketchy and I wanted to be ready for when I had to get on the plane.

Whenever that happened, of course.

Delta is apparently run by neat freaks; the plane was already running late, and one of the stewardesses insisted on holding off the boarding process because the First Class cabin did not look clean enough. Fair enough, but did you really have to hold up the boarding process just for that? Maybe someone vomited or died and they had to clean up what was left (ew). But we did get on the plane eventually, and I actually wrote this blog in flight.

I would have posted the blog in flight, but… Well, when Delta says they have in-flight Wi-Fi, they never said that it worked. Eh, I shouldn’t complain; I’m in a metal cigar 10,000+ feet in the air, I should be amazed right now that this is happening. Guess it’s just part of being a jaded American consumer type who takes everything for granted.

Now then, on to my second point: Delta’s tray tables suck. Seriously, those things are tiny, and my laptop is very large (It’s huge! Which means it has huge guts! RIP AND TEAR!!!… okay, I’ll stop with the random references). I mean, what if I was going to ask for a cup of tea? Where would I put it? I can’t put it on my laptop because that would be dangerous, and as much as I love tea I enjoy not having to spend more money on a new laptop. Also, unlike the tray tables on other airlines, they don’t slide out towards you. Thus I’m typing this with my laptop partially closed, and that’s annoying since I can’t see the screen as good as I’d like to (First World Problems much?). I like having a bit of room to work with, but alas you can’t get everything you want. If you did, that wouldn’t be any good because you’d get lazy and unproductive (I worked for all the Warhammer minis I’ve bought, and I’m proud of that). So I guess I’ll put up with a small work space until I get home, and then I’ll have lots of room to work with.

Ah, home. Home is good, because I get to see my Mom, my Dad, and my girlfriend (hugs will be had). I get to sleep in my own bed without the fear of rolling over in my sleep and falling to my arm-breakage. I’ll be able to eat at my favorite pizza place and finally get a chance to see The LEGO Movie, and I won’t have to worry about school work or papers that need to be done. Maybe I’ll get more of my Avatar story done (if you’re interested, go to and search for Kyoshi Rising by iowaforever. I personally think it’s pretty good, but I’ll let you decide for yourselves).

So, that’s been my travels so far. I walked across Minneapolis, survived on a diet of burgers and other airport food, dealt with poor tray tables and bad Wi-Fi, and didn’t get much in the way of tea (the only cup I’ve had today was some chamomile I had before leaving). But I am going home for break, and that’s what matters: peace and relaxation with those I love.

This is Robert R. Black saying *pulls out Styrofoam begging cup* CHAAANGE? YA GOT CHANGE?! AW COME ON YOU GUYS, JUST GIVE ME SOME CHANGE!

I’ll use it to send a letter to Delta concerning their tray tables.