{"id":3394,"date":"2021-02-26T18:03:41","date_gmt":"2021-02-26T18:03:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/?p=3394"},"modified":"2025-12-10T11:08:48","modified_gmt":"2025-12-10T16:08:48","slug":"the-importance-of-discomfort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/2021\/02\/26\/the-importance-of-discomfort\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Discomfort"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t let your desire to be known as a good guy in front of others get in the way of taking part in the bigger conversation.&#8221;<\/p>\n<cite>Liz Plank, <em>For the Love of Men<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Why do I think the way I do?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Why do I act the way I do?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Why do I hold certain beliefs?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>What do I believe about myself?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM.png\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-1024x640.png\" alt=\"screenshot of a Zoom meeting\" class=\"wp-image-3395\" style=\"width:720px;height:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-1024x640.png 1024w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-300x188.png 300w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-768x480.png 768w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-1536x960.png 1536w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-2048x1280.png 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Those are some of the questions award-winning journalist and author Liz Plank told the students in Wabash Professor of Rhetoric Jennifer Abbott\u2019s Gender 101 class to ask themselves on a frequent basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAnd then ask yourself, how do these things help you?\u201d Plank said. \u201cSometimes, our thoughts are actually reverberations of what we\u2019ve been told\u2014by parents, caretakers, friends, and even society. But it\u2019s important to be able to disconnect from the thoughts of others in order to see who you really are.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Plank was virtually brought to Wabash as part of the President\u2019s Distinguished Speaker Series. The above exercise, which she calls \u201cmindful masculinity,\u201d is a large focus of her recent book,&nbsp;<em>For the Love of Men<\/em>.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Plank describes mindful masculinity as a way for men to get in touch with the intentions behind their thoughts and actions. By encouraging them to look inward, they align themselves with their best selves\u2014with the ways that make them good men\u2014instead of the selves that are shaped by society and the thoughts of others regarding what it means to be a man.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe result is that men become aware of the reasons they do the things they do,\u201d she explained. \u201cIntentional masculinity is the cure for toxic masculinity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not an easy exercise. In fact, there\u2019s a lot of discomfort that comes from the process.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But recognizing that discomfort, she said, is vital to understanding sexism and its impacts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not easy to change the way you\u2019ve been socialized,\u201d Plank said. \u201cMen don\u2019t need to feel like they\u2019re perfect in order to be part of this (feminist) movement. That discomfort is not a sign that you\u2019re at the wrong place; it\u2019s a sign you\u2019re at the right place.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But where can men start?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Andrew Freck \u201921 asked Plank, \u201cHow does mindful masculinity become externalized?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the first steps is acknowledging the systemic problem, she answered. Then acknowledge that there are things you might not know about or fully understand.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-medium\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"For the Love of Men book cover\" class=\"wp-image-3399\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-197x300.jpg 197w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-674x1024.jpg 674w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-768x1168.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-1010x1536.jpg 1010w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L-1347x2048.jpg 1347w, https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/71JlPJcyt0L.jpg 1684w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 197px) 100vw, 197px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t let your desire to be known as a good guy in front of others get in the way of taking part in the bigger conversation,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe have all grown up in a patriarchal society with sexist tendencies,\u201d she continued. \u201cAcknowledge it, exhale, and ask, \u2018So what I can I do to change it?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That includes having deliberate friendships with people who are different from themselves, which, Plank said, is one of the best and most satisfying parts of being an activist.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She also encouraged students to become comrades as well as an allies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A male ally of the feminist movement might share with women how terrible sexism is, a comrade will address it with other men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt might feel scary. It might be really hard. And it will probably be uncomfortable,\u201d Plank said. \u201cBut that\u2019s where impact happens.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cDon\u2019t let your desire to be known as a good guy in front of others get in the way of taking part in the bigger conversation.&#8221; Liz Plank, For the Love of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"w_featured_image_url":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-24-at-10.29.19-AM-1024x640.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/79"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3394"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3812,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3394\/revisions\/3812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}