{"id":272,"date":"2008-12-15T08:09:22","date_gmt":"2008-12-15T08:09:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.wabash.edu\/fyi\/2008\/12\/15\/twas-the-night-before-finals\/"},"modified":"2008-12-15T08:09:22","modified_gmt":"2008-12-15T08:09:22","slug":"twas-the-night-before-finals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/fyi\/2008\/12\/15\/twas-the-night-before-finals\/","title":{"rendered":"‘Twas the Night before Finals"},"content":{"rendered":"

Jim Amidon \u2014 December 15, 2008<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Twas the night before Finals, when all through the land,
\nThe students were cramming, not playing Rock Band.
\nTheir papers and notes all ordered with care,
\nIn hopes that Winter Break soon would be there.<\/p>\n

The professors were nestled all snug in their beds,
\nWhile dreams of straight-A students danced in their heads;
\nThe Dean and the President, wise in their words,
\nHoping the men would ace finals\u2026 like nerds.<\/p>\n

When out on the Mall there arose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.<\/p>\n

Away to my computer I flew like a flash,
\nOpened my Google and searched Wabash.
\nThe glare on my screen prevented my view,
\nOf thousands of entries, most of them new!<\/p>\n

Oh, how my fingers worked quickly to find,
\nWebsite postings of every possible kind.
\nA sharp young hacker, mind nimble and quick,
\nHad crashed the system with a couple of clicks.<\/p>\n

More rapid than broadband the postings they came,
\nPleading for extensions to professors by name;
\nPlease Butler! Now Rogers! Now Hudson and Howland!
\nOn Phillips! On Polley! On Herzog and Helman!<\/p>\n

To the top of old Baxter, to the top of Hays Hall!
\nThe hacker sent emails to one and to all!<\/p>\n

As dry leaves were crunched tiny and small,
\nCampus Services had cleaned every inch of the Mall.
\nSo over to campus I ran without pause,
\nA finals week crisis without any cause!<\/p>\n

In Center Hall, I saw a flickering light,
\nTwas a professor in office, preparing all night.
\nI walked down the hall on a curious quest,
\nPeered in an office, saw a man at his desk.<\/p>\n

He was dressed all in plaid, his khakis bore wrinkles,
\nHis suspenders criss-crossed, his eyes all a twinkle.
\nA bundle of papers stacked high in a pile,
\nRed ink trashed them all\u2026 and done with a smile.<\/p>\n

His eyes \u2014 how they focused! His pen with such might!
\nHis beard was like pepper, all black and all white!<\/p>\n

His glasses all smeared, he barely could see,
\nThe papers he marked with emotional glee!
\nHe had a broad face and good-sized belly,
\nThat shook when he graded like a bowlful of jelly.<\/p>\n

A good Wabash man and wise old prof,
\nAn earnest worn face, in spite of his coif!
\nHe listened to Mozart and stayed to his work,
\nAnd graded those papers from every young turk!<\/p>\n

Soon Santa Blix put his red pen away,
\nFor finals week starts on this very day.
\nThe hacker\u2019s email flurry for A\u2019s and for B\u2019s
\nIs more likely to result in more C\u2019s and some D\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Begging and brown-nosing does nothing but shame,
\nA student who slacks is clearly to blame!
\nFor at Old Wabash, a student must sweat,
\nMastering Plato and physics his only bet!<\/p>\n

Blix strode to his car while scratching his head,
\nHe wondered how quickly he might be to bed.
\nBut I heard him exclaim, as he drove to his den,
\n\u201cGood luck on Finals, ye good Wabash men!\u201d<\/p>\n

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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