{"id":1643,"date":"2010-12-13T06:28:07","date_gmt":"2010-12-13T11:28:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.wabash.edu\/alumni\/?p=1643"},"modified":"2010-12-13T06:28:07","modified_gmt":"2010-12-13T11:28:07","slug":"a-must-read","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/2010\/12\/13\/a-must-read\/","title":{"rendered":"A Must Read"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is NOT Lon Porter<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Last Thursday evening, the Hays Bell Dodgeball match, between Chemistry and Biology, took place. \u00a0Now those of you who know me know that a Grunge Report<\/em> on that would read stale and straightforward…<\/p>\n

“Chemistry XXX – Biology XXX”.<\/p>\n

Lon Porter’s report of the same match is full of life, amusing, and or me, a long trip to the dictionary. \u00a0I laughed and laughed. \u00a0Heck Lon might just talk me into being a Chem major (I know…no way!). \u00a0Here’s Lon’s report…<\/p>\n

“Another epic night of interdisciplinary dodgeball, red in tooth and claw, rocked Allen Center this evening. \u00a0The seniors dedicated this year\u2019s match to a couple of Hays Hall giants, Olsen and Munford. \u00a0As the games began, a new leader emerged to help the chemists in their quest to prove that chemistry is much more than the benevolent \u201ccentral\u201d science textbooks would have us believe. \u00a0Wally \u201cLe tigre\u201d Novak stunned the biologists with his cat-like reflexes and sage tactical acumen. \u00a0Joined by Chem\/Bio dodgeball veteran Lon \u201cMolybdenum Prime\u201d Porter and his adamantium knee, the chemists looked to maintain ownership of the Hays Bell. \u00a0The chemistry seniors aimed to exert kinetic control and extend the three year winning streak to four. \u00a0The biologists naturally selected to pursue other plans as they hoped to secure a victory tonight that would break the series 3-3 tie and take the lead and bragging rights. \u00a0The biologists clearly looked to lay down the central dogma and introduce the chemists to their new niche\u2026pain.<\/p>\n

The entropy of the court quickly confirmed the second law\u2019s impact on the opening games. \u00a0Uncertainty ran rampant, but guys were quickly reminded that wavefunctions for particles with these masses are very small; you really can ascertain the position AND momentum of a dodgeball with GREAT certainty when it knocks you flat. \u00a0Le Ch\u00e2telier smiled on the chemists as equilibrium quickly shifted away from the biologists. \u00a0These early victories were not without great survival costs; opportunistic predation resulted in early chemistry injuries. \u00a0These palled in comparison to the biologists that migrated away in hopes of mate selection\u2026and 50 cent Keystone Lights or Cactus Cups in more northern field ranges.<\/p>\n

Given the upsetting desertion, the biologists threw the entire phylogenetic tree at the chemists for the Hays Bell match. \u00a0The remaining senior, junior, and sophomore bio guys herded together and took on the uninjured senior chem majors for the final prize. \u00a0The first game of the Bell match was a nail biter and shifted back and forth like a clock reaction. \u00a0After following major metabolic pathways, ATP was expended and the chemists claimed first blood. \u00a0While exciting, the second game had a much shorter half-life and also went to the chemists for another clean sweep. \u00a0Electrons were pushed, activation barriers were overcome, and Punnett squares were filled\u2026however, in the end\u2026the biologists folded like a protein. \u00a0There is no joy in Down House \u2013 mighty Darwin\u2019s men have struck out. \u00a0While the Bell remains in the chemistry side of the display case in Hays, the bonds of friendship and scholarship remain ever strong (covalent of course, right about 154 kJ\/mol at last glance). \u00a0Following the Bell game, the biologists did rally to win a friendly game or two. \u00a0It was great fun and yet another tradition that many of us hold dear. \u00a0Thanks to all the folks who participated and to those who came to laugh at the spectacle. \u00a0As many of us settle down with a cool beverage and a crossword puzzle (as Polley might recommend), we hope that those anti-inflammatory, organic synthetic targets kick in and work their biochemical magic…until next year, Wabash!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last Thursday evening, the Hays Bell Dodgeball match, between Chemistry and Biology, took place. \u00a0Now those of you who know me know that a Grunge Report on that would read stale and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"w_featured_image_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.wabash.edu\/alumninews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}